Believe society expects men to suppress their feelings

80%

But Only

27%

Agree men should suppress their feelings

What these men would really like right now

Believe society expects men to suppress their feelings

Agree men should suppress their feelings

79%

Believe society expects men to suppress their feelings

The Masculinity Survey:

What Young Men REALLY Believe

Only 27% believe men should suppress emotions—but 79% think society expects them to

400 American men 24-32 years old suggest . . .

There's a disconnect between what men personally believe defines masculinity and what they think society expects

The Survey

400 U.S. Men

24-32 years old

The Questions

Be emotionally stoic

Men should not show or talk about their feelings because
emotions = weakness

ChatGPT Image Sep 24, 2025, 02_45_38 PM.png

Be the provider

Men should shoulder the responsibility of taking care of their household.

Be a problem-solver

Men should be able to figure things out on their own and not admit when they aren't sure what to do

Be self-reliant

Men should be able to handle everything that comes at them by themselves

Be a leader

Men should take charge and guide others

Be confident and under control

Men should always seem like they've got it all together

We asked the men about six of the traditional masculine expectations

Are today's young men still in favor of these traditional masculine expectations?

Men should "man up" and not show or talk about their feelings

Stoic cowyboy clint eastwood meme (2).png

What % of today's young men still agree?

Make Your Guess

79.5%

27.0%

A 52.5% Gap!

Believe Society Expects

Men Agree

Almost 3 in 4 men don't believe in emotional suppression - but think everyone else expects it from them

Men should not need to depend on others and should handle things themselves

What % of today's young men still agree?

Make Your Guess

73.3%

35.8%

37.5% Gap!

Believe Society Expects

Men Agree

Almost 2 out of 3 men don't believe men should be expected to handle everything on their own

GPS for men refusing to ask for directions.png

Men should be able to figure things out on their own

What % of today's young men still agree?

Make Your Guess

80.0%

49.5%

30.5% Gap!

Believe Society Expects

Men Agree

Almost 2 out of 3 men don't believe men should be expected to handle everything on their own

What do they say men like them want and need?

Most men feel the pressure,

but more "successful" men aren't buying into it

"Successful" Men =

Full-time employment +

Married or in a committed relationship +

Undergrad or graduate degree

% believe society expects emotional suppression by men

% personally endorse emotional suppression by men

Western societies have held pretty consistent expectations of men over the past 200 years

The Provider

The idea that a “real man” should be the sole or primary provider is newer than most people think. For most of human history, families survived through shared labor - men, women, and even children all contributed.

It was only during the 19th century, as industrialization raised men’s wages and laws restricted women’s and children’s work, that the breadwinner ideal began to take hold. By the mid-20th century, especially after World War II, governments, churches, and the media promoted the single-earner nuclear family as the norm.

Self-Sufficient

The expectation that men should be entirely self-sufficient has deep cultural roots. In the 19th century, U.S. thinkers like Ralph Waldo Emerson popularized “Self-Reliance” as a democratic virtue, linking true manhood to independence from others. Over time, this ideal was folded into 20th-century gender norms that glorified toughness, autonomy, and emotional restraint.

By mid-century, being a “real man” often meant refusing help—even when needed. This norm, reinforced by schools, workplaces, and media, discouraged men from leaning on others and made self-sufficiency a benchmark of masculine status.

Emotionally Stoic

During the Georgian period (1714-1830), male emotional expression was not only acceptable, but considered a sign of refinement. Being "manly" primarily meant being "virtuous and wise" rather than emotionally restrained.

By the late 19th century, however, Victorian religion, medicine, schools, and the military promoted self-control and toughness, framing emotion as weakness. The “stiff upper lip” became a celebrated hallmark of manhood, spreading across English-speaking cultures and redefining male virtue as rational, stoic, and restrained and open displays of emotion or vulnerability were recast as un-masculine.

A Leader

Man as leader has roots in antiquity, where warfare, property rights, and lineage placed men in positions of authority. Religious traditions reinforced male headship as divine order, while medieval and early modern societies structured politics, church, and family around male hierarchies.

The Enlightenment and industrialization entrenched the divide between men in public leadership and women in the private sphere, with leadership qualities—decisiveness, rationality, authority—coded as masculine. Even as the 20th century opened more leadership roles to women, the archetype of the male leader persisted.

Confident & Controlled

The expectation that men project confidence and conceal vulnerability crystallized in the 19th-century Victorian era, when older ideals of self-mastery and composure were recast as moral duties tied to middle-class respectability, imperial service, and Christianized “manliness.” Boys were taught that lapses in self-command signaled unmanliness, while “muscular Christianity,” imperial duty, and school athletics fused emotional restraint with honor and reliability.

By the 20th century, this model was amplified in schools, workplaces, and professional culture, where showing certainty and suppressing doubt or vulnerability became markers of "real men."

Problem-Solver

The expectation that men should "figure it out on their own" started in the 1840s with writer Ralph Waldo Emerson, who promoted trusting your own judgment over asking for help. This idea merged with America's frontier culture that celebrated self-reliant pioneers, creating the belief that real men solved problems independently. Throughout the 1900s, the military and workplace cultures reinforced this by rewarding independent decision-making and viewing help-seeking as weakness.

What began as a philosophy about self-trust gradually became a rigid social rule equating independence with masculinity, pressuring men to handle all problems alone rather than seek support.

But are they still still reasonable?

And useful?

79%

Believe society expects men to suppress their feelings

Only

27%

Agree that men should suppress their feelings

That's A

52%

Gap!

62%

Are caught in an internal tug of war between their authentic selves and the role they feel compelled to play

Believe society expects men to suppress their feelings

80%

But Only

27%

Agree men should suppress their feelings

What these men would really like right now

Believe society expects men to suppress their feelings

Agree men should suppress their feelings

79%

Believe society expects men to suppress their feelings

The Masculinity Survey:

What Young Men REALLY Believe

Only 27% believe men should suppress emotions—but 79% think society expects them to

400 American men 24-32 years old suggest . . .

There's a disconnect between what men personally believe defines masculinity and what they think society expects

The Survey

400 U.S. Men

24-32 years old

The Questions

Be emotionally stoic

Men should not show or talk about their feelings because emotions = weakness

Be the provider

Men should shoulder the responsibility of taking care of their household.

Be a problem-solver

Men should be able to figure things out on their own and not admit when they aren't sure what to do

Be self-reliant

Men should be able to handle everything that comes at them by themselves

Be a leader

Men should take charge and guide others

Be confident and under control

Men should always seem like they've got it all together

We asked the men about six of the traditional masculine expectations

Are today's young men still in favor of these traditional masculine expectations?

Men should "man up" and not show or talk about their feelings

What % of today's young men still agree?

79.5%

27.0%

A 52.5% Gap!

Almost 3 in 4 men don't believe in emotional suppression - but think everyone else expects it from them

Men should not need to depend on others and should handle things themselves

What % of today's young men still agree?

73.3%

35.8%

37.5% Gap!

Almost 2 out of 3 men don't believe men should be expected to handle everything on their own

Men should be able to figure things out on their own

What % of today's young men still agree?

80.0%

49.5%

30.5% Gap!

Almost 2 out of 3 men don't believe men should be expected to handle everything on their own

Most men feel the pressure,

but more "successful" men aren't buying into it

% believe society expects emotional suppression by men

% personally endorse emotional suppression by men

Western societies have held pretty consistent expectations of men over the past 200 years

The Provider

But are they still still reasonable?

And useful?

79%

Believe society expects men to suppress their feelings

Only

27%

Agree that men should suppress their feelings

That's A

52%

Gap!

62%

Opinion Question #1

Men Should Suppress Their Feelings

Men should not show or talk about their feelings because
emotions = weakness